Towards the Finale

Wed 28th April.



It's dark and wet outside 7.45 am. The ship sails inexorably on towards Florida and the end of our voyage. The weather matches our mood somewhat. What George and I will miss most is the ever present sea and the sea noises....there is no chance of claustrophobia when one is at sea, the wide blue yonder is just the opening of a door away. We shall both miss that enormously.

All talk on board is about endings: of relationships new and intense among many of the students, anxiety for the future, the sudden loss of community and the inevitable jolt back to reality and real life. There is a sense of sadness and nostalgia for all we have seen and done in the last three and a half months. For George and me there is the knowledge that during the last 15-16 months we have been away from home for seven of them. This trip was possibly too much, too soon. Although we shall be sorry to lose friends we have made I look forward so much to getting back to our own lives again. To being part of our 'community'. Mine is made up of so many parts: friends, theatre, McMaster, M.U.M.C. standardised patients, Bess our dog and of course most important of all our family. I am rarely given the chance to be bored and there is the great luxury at times of being truly alone....it's hard to capture that lovely isolation on board ship.

For instance as I sat here typing in lonely splendour the phone rang....it always sounds urgent...and I was being asked to hand out exam papers tonight. We also have a masked performance of Shakespeare tonight and tomorrow evening I have my solo performance of Beckett's Rockaby which I have already recorded. I have simply now to sit, react and rock. Sound effects will be a singing brass bowl from India (which will be done 'live' by one of the Music students) and I hope the ending will fade into Paul McCartney's beautiful Lament from Ecce Cor Meum.

Off to rehearsal.....the story of my life!